So I read a lot of books because it’s part of my job. Recently I purchased the audiobook of “I’m Glad My Mom Died” to listen to while working out. It’s hard to listen to, because I identify so much with her story.
I’d never heard of this actress before, mostly because I’m older, and wasn’t watching Nickleodeon when her show iCarly was a hit. I purchased this audiobook solely because of the title. I’m not going to tell you her story because I think you should read/listen to it yourself. For me, it was a revelation to hear someone speak their truth about such a sensitive topic. Abuse isn’t an easy matter to open up about, but after hearing her story I totally understand why she titled her book the way she did.
My mother is still alive, and no, I don’t wish she was dead. But I’ve divorced her from my life because the abuse Jennette McCurdy lived with is so similar to what I dealt with. This isn’t going to be a post about my life beyond pointing out a few similarities. My intention is to write my memoirs once my mother has passed away.
As a small child, my parents were like Gods to me, benevolent and kind. But as I grew older I realized things were very different in my house compared to other kids. When I was eight, my father caught the house on fire while drunk. And as I grew older the punishments became worse. I had scars on my ass and thighs that didn’t fade until I was in my late twenties. My mother was vicious with a leather belt. When they discovered I was gay by spying on a phone call with my future sister-in-law, things grew even worse. My parents kicked me out of the house when I was 17 for being gay. Before that, they kept me locked in the house for months at a time so I wouldn’t hang out with gay friends, not that I had many of them as a teenager. And the abuse didn’t stop when I was an adult. My niece was instructed by my mother to stay away from me, that I was evil.
My mother thinks I’m evil.
That’s just the tip of the iceburg. I’ve suffered with depression and eating disorders for decades now. Thankfully, the depression is mostly in the past. What I really identify with in her book is using humor to cope with darkness. There’s a reason I’ve made the decision only to write light-hearted rom-coms, so I can laugh instead of crying. Did enough of that already, and like Jennette, I like to think of myself moving forward, and not wallowing in the past.